The Open Letter To Joel Schumacher

Joel Schumacher… You’ve let me down in the past, honestly you have. I first learned your name because of Batman. And even as a kid I could see that you ruined Batman. But after about 10 years I decided to forgive you. It was, after all, not your fault that Batman turned into such a joke. And lets not forget you gave us The Lost Boys and you made Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon just a little easier to play. I really liked Phone Booth and Tigerland , 8MM not so much…  Why do I have the feeling you’re about to let me down?

The Review

During the opening credits I leaned over to my friend and said, “this movie is gonna try too hard and never get there.”

It’s not that I find the premise of the movie unbelievable. I can really see how Numbers can make a person homicidal, the episode from three weeks ago is a prime example. I too sometimes find myself wanting to drive a sharp object into someone, or myself, when faced with complex mathematic equations. I get that, I really do.

But coming from a guy that reads too much into everything, seriously everything, I found that aspect of the movie absurd and ridiculous.

Visually the movie was appealing, with the exception of a couple “what exactly was the point of that” shots. It was seriously like, “yeah I get it, he’s freaking out, now can you please stop shaking the fucking camera now.” I did really like the overty saturated look the of the book sequences, although they even got a bit old after awhile.

While it did have it’s fair share of predictability through out, I will say I didn’t quite see that ending coming. I had my theories and even knew that they were going to try to pull fast one on me, they marginally succeeded. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite enough to save the movie.

Just remember if you can’t decipher the number 23 from the opening shot of a scene, it’s just not an important scene, this also was the most fun I had in the movie…

After it was all over I looked at my watch, 11:14. 11 plus 14 is 25, awesome we’re in the clear… That was however until I realized we had watched it in auditorium 2…

I did however sigh a big sigh of relief after sitting in the parking lot after the movie, numerically dissecting my name. That’s right, you heard it here first, I’m not, numerically, poised to become a psycho killer.

The Consensus

I think the dude sitting three rows behind me had the right idea as he slept through the the last two thirds of this movie, oh dear… 2 and 3, twenty-three….

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 24th, 2007 at 12:45 am and is filed under Bad Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.